Tam Pham: Adjacent Dreams

Tam Pham has taken two sabbaticals, one ended up being about getting better at chess and the other to learn (and eventually teach) Bachata. He’s about to start his own business teaching the latin dance style — something he attributed to his sabbaticals.

Tam takes on a challenger

You’ve taken two sabbaticals. Why did you take your first break?

After trying for a long time, I landed what I thought was my dream job in marketing. And I thought, “This is amazing! I’m working with one of my role models!” And then, guess what? I'm still the same old person. Nothing in my life changed in a dramatic fashion.

Second, I was living the remote work digital nomad life. And after I was done work, I had a lot of time on my hands working in an off-timezone from North America. I had to figure out how not to get bored when my coworkers were sleeping and I was in a new place by myself.

What did you do?

One of the things I started doing was playing chess. I fully immersed myself in playing and experimenting, not expecting that I was going to have a sabbatical just for chess. I leaned into it and, holy crap, I'm addicted. I got really passionate about it, and it felt like I was a kid again back in high school when I was competing in my chess club and stuff. I took a break to focus just on that.

How did this change your approach to your career after? 

That sabbatical reminded me that I've always been a great learner. But I've always thought I should learn things within the realm of work. I had to learn digital marketing or I have to learn coding, etc. And I realized, “Oh, wow, there are actually a lot of things I can learn outside of work that can challenge me.” 

So a few years after your first chess sabbatical, you took another break.

It was a bit of an accident because I got sick. I had long COVID, and I didn't have any energy to do anything. My work visa in Canada also expired. And I knew I needed a vacation. As I was resting, I wanted to rest in Mexico. And it just so happened that as got better, I started to lean into the things that were available around me, which was learning Spanish and dancing.

And now you’re starting your own business based on dancing?

Yes. I took a “one-week retreat” in Oaxaca. I spent a week there by myself to see what thoughts come up. And the biggest realization I had was that, deep inside, I've always wanted to start my own business. But instead, I've been taking adjacent jobs as, like, a chief of staff role an operations role or marketing lead role. Because those jobs felt safe. They were all very adjacent to the entrepreneurship goal without taking my own risks.

My setup is great. But if I'm thinking about it long term, that'll be my life for 30 more years. And if I'm going to do that for 30 more years, I might as well tackle the dream I know I have sooner rather than later.

Right. It can be easy to do the safe version of our ambitious goals, so if it doesn’t work out, no one faults you.

Yes, and it’s seen as a good thing by your peers too. They’ll say “Wow you have a job working working with your role model!” or “You know this entrepreneur that I’ve heard of!”

So how did you create that blank space in Oxaca to allow that revelation to come in?

I was burnt out. But I knew with enough space, things would naturally come up. My mind is always running. And so just journaling and not having any distractions I can dive deeper into what's actually under the surface in my own mind. 

I didn't do any drugs, but some people might recommend shrooms or something similar. For me, it was just yoga twice a day, walking on the beach for an hour or so, and then watching the sunset by myself and just seeing how that was. My life was quite overstimulated before that and it was really helpful.

So what’s next?

In February, I’m going to go full-time on my own business teaching Bachata. I haven’t felt this aligned in a while. All of my other jobs were adjacent to my dream. But I’m putting myself on the line for this. I already gave my notice to my full-time job.

Tell me about the finances of these breaks you’ve taken for chess and bachata.

I would have done things very differently for my first sabbatical knowing what I know now. I went broke after my chess one. I had to borrow money from friends to move to my next job. I remember Keith Ferrazzi writing, “Learn in your 20s, earn in your 30s.” I was totally investing in learning. 

With my Bachata one, I moved to Mexico where I could extend my runway. I was also very confident I could get a job whenever I wanted. That speaks to some privilege of having marketable skills. My friends tell me it was risky but I don’t think that at all.

Why?

I could find another job. I could live on my parents’ couch. I could live in a cheap city if I needed to. I could borrow money from friends. I have options. Not everyone is as fortunate as I am, I know.

How do you deal with the lack of community that can come from being a nomad and moving often?

This year I tried something new that I call “slow living”, I was like, “You know what? Let me just have a few home bases around the world and go to those places the most often.  So for this year, I spent six months in Mexico City, three months in Toronto, where I used to live, and then a month in California with my family, and then with the other two months I went where I wanted.

The difference between a digital nomad and slow living is community. When I go back to Mexico City, I feel like I have made more friends here in the last two years than anywhere in the world.

Of course, there are trade-offs. But for now, at least in this stage of my life, I think it's quite cool. I learn new things through people. 

What’s your advice to people considering a sabbatical or designing their life in the way you have?

I hope anyone considering a sabbatical truly does things for themselves and not for clout or accomplishment. Just doing it for the love of doing something, learning a skill, and having an experience you’ll remember forever.

My hope for people is that they take sabbaticals and they aren't outcome-driven. Sabbaticals are personal and special to each of us.